Ave Atque Vale
by Taryo88
Summary: The plain filled with sounds, yelling and the beating of wings. It had all happened so suddenly. All at once the demon army filled the night sky, and within moments the fight had begun. - The battle at Brocelind Plain in City of Glass from Alec's point of view. What had it been like in that battle, and did he feel when Jace died? All that and more, right here.


So this story was written because Cassie and I were discussing how we really didn't get enough of Alec and Jace's parabatai connection within the series, especially when compared to the other parabatai pairs Cassandra Clare has written about, so my angst loving self decided we needed to have this scene. Without further ado, please enjoy Ave Atque Vale, or as I like to call it, Alec Experiences Parabatai Network Connectivity Issues.

* * *

Angel Square was like a busy street full of people and bad memories. Alec stood at the edge of the surging crowd of Shadowhunters and Downworlders staring down at his newly applied alliance mark. He was hoping that by not looking at the scenery he could be spared the reminder of holding his baby brother's limp body in his arms in this very square only days before, but, fitting to the pattern of recent events, his hopes were ignored.

He clenched his hands to stop them from shaking as pictures of Max flashed through his mind. Max learning to hold a dagger. Max reading a book in the library. Max sleeping curled up in the window seat, that same book discarded to the floor. No memory was safe from his grief, and Alec's thoughts weren't confined to the past. His breathing turned shallow as unprompted images of Max as he could have been if he was given the chance to grow up flickered across the backs of Alec's eyelids with every blink. Max receiving his first marks. Max going through a growth spurt that made him taller than Jace.

 _Max alive._

Alec dug his fingernails into his palms in an attempt to pull himself together. He needed to focus on the task at hand. He was going to war. He could die in a few hours. He needed –

"Are you okay?"

A thin fingered hand settled on Alec's shoulder causing him to startle out of his stupor with a gasp and eliciting several blue sparks to shoot from Alec's palms. He frowned at the show of magic, an unforeseen side effect of the alliance rune and Magnus's shared power, before turning to face the warlock in question as the latter stared at him with concern marring his brow.

"You looked like you were in a daze." Magnus observed, blessedly uttering no comment on Alec's lack of control over the magic coursing through his body.

"Well," Alec's mouth twitched up into a nervous half smile, "people have always told me I have dream-like good looks." It was something eerily similar to what Jace might say, but the comment lacked any feeling or confidence that might make it seem cocky. Every word was laced with the nervousness that Alec felt now that he was thinking of the upcoming battle.

Magnus simply raised an eyebrow. Alec waved him off, the back of his neck heating from his embarrassment. He wasn't usually this shaken up before a battle and that knowledge only made him more nervous. There was so much of Alec that was a wreck after everything that had been happening recently, Max's death, Hodge's death, Jace's death wish, that he could hardly imagine heading into what was guaranteed to breed more death, but he was trying his best to keep himself together.

It would do no one any good if he fell apart now.

"We're going through the portal last so that I can keep up the magic needed to keep it open." Magnus said.

"Alright." Alec had already expected this, but it comforted him to have at least a portion of a confirmed plan, "Do you know how long it will take to get everyone through?"

Magnus's cat eyes scanned the thinning crowd of people around them, calculating. "Maybe another ten minutes." He estimated, "Do you have everything you need?"

The bow at Alec's back had been a comforting weight ever since he placed it there, a constant reminder of his training. He tallied it mentally along with the numerous seraph blades at his belt and the chakrams he had added as an afterthought as he had prepared for battle. He had his own personal arsenal filled with as many weapons as he could hold without being weighed down or hindered. He had no proof that he wouldn't run out of blades, but with Magnus's magic thrumming under his skin, Alec couldn't help but think that it wouldn't really matter if he did.

He nodded at Magnus who returned the gesture before squeezing the Shadowhunter's shoulder and walking back towards the portal. Alec took the few remaining minutes he had to calm his racing mind. He knew he was headed into an almost hopeless battle; he knew he could die. Alec tried to think of this as any normal mission, but the knowledge that Valentine was fully capable of throwing an almost unlimited demon army at the distressingly minuscule amount of warriors they had just wouldn't leave his head. He thought of his family, of his mom and dad fighting alongside him, Isabelle safe on the sidelines, too young to fight. He thought of Jace, God knows where on an impossible mission that would probably get him killed.

 _Stay alive._ These two simple words were embodied Alec's hopes not only for his family but for himself as well. _Please stay alive._

He allowed himself one more moment to think of his family before he shut that part of his brain down. Fighting while distracted would be disastrous, and thinking of those closest to him would be the biggest distraction of all. By the time Alec had made it back to Magnus's side by the entrance of the portal he was in full battle mode.

Magnus looked up at his approach and opened his mouth to say something but stopped as Alec abruptly thrust a dagger from his belt into the warlock's face. "You don't have any weapons," Alec observed, "take this."

Magnus was only startled for a second before brushing Alec off with a show of blue light between his fingers, "I don't need it, I have my weapon right here."

"Using the alliance rune means you share my training. Having this blade with you might save your life." Alec looked up at Magnus from under his bangs when the warlock hesitated, sincerity and concern covering every one of his features, " _Please."_

The sigh that Alec released as Magnus's fingers closed around the handle of the blade was audible even in the din of excited noise surrounding the couple.

Magnus tucked the blade into his belt and grabbed Alec's hand, lacing their fingers together. "It's almost time to head out." The feel of Magnus's warm hand within his own sent tendrils of comfort through Alec's being. The Shadowhunter's strong hand squeezed Magnus's and he almost turned away. There was a battle to be fought, the last thing he needed to be thinking about was his relationship, but maybe that's exactly the reason that it wouldn't leave Alec's head. Any number of things could happen when Valentine's forces met them and, by the Angel, Alec would not leave Magnus's side without making sure the warlock knew how important he was.

Alec's hand slipped out of Magnus's and swiftly reattached itself to Magnus's waist where it tugged the warlock close to Alec's chest. The Shadowhunter's other hand was already on Magnus's smooth cheek, tilting his face down to lock their lips together. The kiss was hot and passionate and everything that made up Magnus Bane, but there was also a desperate urgency laced through it. An urgency that spoke of what they both knew. This could be the last time.

The kiss was swift and short; they had little time to waste. Alec pulled away to find it was their turn to head through the portal. He couldn't quite see what the situation was like on the other side, but he figured it was similar to what it had been like before they went through: A large group of people waiting. Because that's all they could do. Sit and wait for Valentine to act.

The couple, hands still twined together, stepped through the portal to Brocelind Plain to find exactly what Alec had predicted they would find. Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike milling about in fidgeting clusters, counting down until midnight.

Alec glanced back at the closing portal, there was no going back now. Not until the fight was over. "How long do we have until midnight?" He asked Magnus.

"About-"

That's when the sky filled with demons.

The plain filled with sounds, yelling and the beating of wings. There were shrieks that Alec couldn't place. Some were the unholy noises from the demons themselves, but some part of Alec couldn't help but think that some were the last calls of the already fallen. It had all happened so suddenly. All at once the demon army filled the night sky, and within moments the fight had begun.

Alec whipped out his bow and began firing off shots while he was still able to fight from long range. He knew he was better with his bow, but no matter how many demons he hit in the time when using his bow was possible it never seemed to make a dent. He could feel Magnus fighting with his magic by his side because every time a spark flew from the warlock's fingers the borrowed magic in Alec seemed to hum in response.

Sooner than Alec would have liked, the demons swarmed around him and he was forced to put his bow away for more close combat. He felt like he was on the deck of Valentine's ship all over again. There were demons everywhere. Oni demons, Iblis demons, Raum demons, Raveners, all in seemingly endless quantities. Winged demons were swooping by, grabbing Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike with their piercing claws. One of Alec's seraph blades was out now and he threw it with great precision and watched as it lodged itself in the neck of a Hellhound that had been headed his way.

He may be better with his bow, but Alec was nothing if not an exceptional Shadowhunter in all aspects of the job.

Before he could replace the now lost blade, however, Alec was tackled to the side by an unknown force. When he finally stopped rolling it was to find himself pinned beneath the weight of a Raum demon, its tentacles winding their way around his biceps. He kicked out, but moving his legs was nearly impossible while being crushed by the weight of a demon, and he couldn't seem to move his hands low enough to grab another weapon from his belt. He was searching for more options when another body leapt onto the back of the demon and sank its fangs deep into the demon's throat and tore a large chunk from its body. It paused long enough after the demon disappeared to its home dimension to flash a pointed smile at Alec then ran off to continue the battle.

The vampires had arrived.

Alec wasted no more time on his back. He drew another seraph blade and rolled up, cutting a long, deep wound into a Behemoth demon as he went. He twirled and he ran, pulling out a second seraph blade he raced through the throng of fighting wounding anything that came in range. He caught glimpses of Downworlders and Shadowhunters fighting together as he went by, aiding where he could. He hadn't realized that he had had a destination in mind until he found himself surrounded by familiar blue sparks. Alec had lost sight of the warlock early on in the battle, but now he could see Magnus again in the mass of fighting. He was taking on two demons at once, and seemed to be holding his ground, but Alec threw one of his seraph blades at an advancing demon anyway. It buried itself in the demon's ear, and within moments the demon was gone.

Alec joined Magnus right as the latter finished off his own demon. It was clear to Alec that Magnus could take care of himself, but that didn't stop him from wanting to be by his side while they fought. There was nothing Alec wanted more than to protect those he cared about, and he could do that best if he kept them close.

So he stayed by the warlock's side as the battle raged on. It seemed to Alec as though the fight had simultaneously just begun and yet had been in full swing for hours. It was hard to keep a good grip on the passing of time when your life was constantly on the line. Sparks flew between the pair, magic striking demons left and right. Alec slashed with his weapons and threw chakrams, hoping against hope that something would happen to change the tide.

And then something did happen.

And then something did happen only it was the furthest thing from what Alec hoped for.

Alec yanked a seraph blade out of the chest of Drevak demon and began to turn towards Magnus when it hit. Alec, as a Shadowhunter, had very little experience with guns, but in that moment he felt as though he had been shot in the chest. It was a sharp pain, like a piece of glass imbedded in his skin from the inside and with each movement he made it was lodged deeper and deeper. He had been looking at Magnus but now that image swam before his eyes and he stumbled to his knees. He knew the battle was still going on around him, but he couldn't force himself to get up and keep fighting.

Jace. Something had happened to his connection to Jace.

He searched out with everything he had, feeling for their connection, that bondage of their souls that marked them as _parabatai_. He could still feel it, but it felt thin and wavering. Alec was almost sure he could hear Magnus above him, calling out, but he tuned him out, focusing all his attentions on the only thing that mattered at that moment. _Jace_. _Jace. Jace_. His breathing was fast and shallow. His hands fisted in the gear on his knees.

He started to shake, and that's when it snapped.

Alec lurched forward, covering his mouth as he gagged. He felt hot and constricted and dizzy, like everything in the world had been flipped upside down. He tugged on the front of his gear and was startled when his hand slipped off the wet leather.

He couldn't remember why it would be wet.

He looked down and saw with widening eyes blood seeping through the gear over his heart. Over his _parabatai_ rune. He blinked hard and was unsurprised to find that the action prompted tears to roll down his cheeks. The world was on its side. Everything was wrong. He was coming to realize that no matter what he did he couldn't truly protect anyone like he hoped he could. He was coming to realize what had happened.

" _Ave Atque Vale_ ," he whispered, the words sticking in his dry throat, "Hail and farewell, my brother."

Jace was dead.

‡‡

Magnus couldn't remember a time when he had moved as fast as he did when he watched Alec fall to his knees. In a feat of speed he didn't know he was capable of, he had reached Alec's side so fast that he almost wasn't sure he had ever been anywhere else. Magnus wanted nothing more than to give Alec his undivided attention, but with demons still surrounding them he knew he didn't have that option.

The warlock wasn't exactly mollified by just being closer, but he was at least comforted by the fact that he knew Alec was still breathing. He hadn't seen what had happened, but the look on Alec's face as he fell had been full of devastation but also a vast confusion. As though his whole life had just been proven to be a lie but he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

"Alec! Alexander, please," Magnus cursed his shaking voice, "get up!"

Alec didn't even seem to be registering the words, and when two Iblis demons crept closer to the two of them, Magnus was forced to turn his mind away from his boyfriend. There was nothing he could do for the Shadowhunter now, but he could at least make sure they both made it off of this plain.

Magnus redoubled his magical efforts, sending blue sparks in a large enough radius to encompass both him and Alec. It was a tiring feat, but he kept it up because he knew it was necessary. The magic seemed to keep the demons at bay, but one Du'sien demon managed to slip inside the circle of Magnus's protection much to the warlock's dismay.

He couldn't spare any magic to take care of the demon or it would give an opening for all the others to close in. He didn't have any options, but the demon was coming closer and Alec was still making no moves to stand up. Actually, after a swift glance at the seemingly incapacitated warrior behind him, Magnus was almost sure that Alec had gotten worse. He was sweating and breathing hard, almost curled in on himself on the dirty battle ground.

He needed to be protected. So, without a thought, Magnus grabbed the dagger at his belt and threw it, almost blindly, towards the Du'sien demon. Miraculously it hit its mark. The demon struggled only for a second before it died, crumbling in on itself to be transported to its own dimension. Magnus was about to heave a sigh of relief when he heard something that made his heart stop in his chest.

" _Ave Atque Vale,"_ He heard a broken voice whisper from behind him, "Hail and farewell, my brother."

Magnus's widening eyes turned to take in what he truly didn't want to see. What he desperately hoped wouldn't be true. He turned to see Alec, the kindest Shadowhunter Magnus knew, the boy who had already lost too much in such a short time, sob into his hands. He watched as Alec lost his _parabatai_.

Magnus's awe lasted for only mere moments as his attention was once more torn away from where it desperately wished it could stay. His head turned swiftly towards the rest of the battle field, not because of something he heard, but because of what he could no longer hear. The grating calls of demons that had filled Brocelind Plain ever since Valentine's army had arrived was receding. Magnus dropped the magic he had been using to get a better view of what he couldn't believe was happening.

The demons were retreating.

He couldn't fathom why, but he didn't waste time wondering. As soon he was sure that he and Alec were safe from any remaining enemies, he dropped to his knees by Alec's side and gripped his shoulders.

"Alec! Please, say something."

‡‡

Alec could barely stay in touch with his surroundings. There was no way it could be true. Jace couldn't really be dead, and yet Alec knew with a certainty that he wished he could be spared from that it was no lie.

 _Two brothers in one week._

He closed his eyes, trying to spare himself some pain. He would have stayed like that for hours, weeping on his knees in the mud and blood covering Brocelind Plain, if he hadn't heard Magnus's voice through the buzzing in his ears.

"Alec! Please, say something."

Warm, thin hands were wiping the tears from under his eyes and Alec could feel Magnus's lips on his cheek, urging him out of his huddled shape. He opened his eyes slowly. The pain in his chest had faded. He no longer felt anything except a gaping hole within himself, as if a piece of his soul had been sucked out, leaving him broken.

"Jace." One word. That was all he had the strength to say in the face of Magnus's concern. Magnus looked as though he was going to pull Alec to him, like he was unsure of what he could possibly say to make this better but was determined to find the words to ease Alec's pain, but Alec never had the chance to find out what those words might be. As Magnus closed the distance between them, Alec gasped, a stuttering sound that seemed to shake his entire being to the core. His eyes blew wide and he started breathing heavily once again.

Something was happening.

With each breath that Alec took the crevasse in his soul seemed to knit itself back together. He felt like an amputee experiencing the phantom pains that often plagued them, cruelly reminding them of what they once had and never would again, only this was real. He braced himself by gripping Magnus's shoulders, shaking as what had felt unfixable was made whole and new once again. Jace had been there, then he had been gone, and beyond all reason Alec could feel him there once again. Jace's soul beside his own as though nothing had ever happened.

Detaching himself from Magnus, Alec tugged on the collar of his gear, his fingers slipping on the blood soaked material before gaining enough purchase to peel it away from his chest in the one place he needed to see the most. His _parabatai_ rune was black and whole. He turned his startled gaze to Magnus at last, his eyebrows drawing up in confusion that was mirrored on Magnus's own face. "He was gone. He was gone but now he's not. I thought – I thought he had died." Alec turned his attention to the rune on his chest once again, staring at it as intently as if it held all the secrets of the universe. "I need to find Jace. I don't know what's real and I need to find Jace." Alec was sure he sounded desperate and scared, but he could see no judgement in Magnus's eyes when he met them with his own, nothing to imply that Alec might be weak for feeling this way, only worry.

Magnus pulled Alec to his feet, allowing him to lean on his taller shoulder, "We'll find him," Magnus said, his comforting grip tightening on Alec's shoulder, "We'll find him."

‡‡

According to the Silent Brothers outside the Basillas that night, Jace was not allowed to have any visitors until he was more stable. According to Alec, this was bullshit and they couldn't really do anything if he charged inside, which is exactly what he did.

Alec wouldn't normally have dared to disobey a direct order from the Silent Brothers, but just hearing from them that Jace was alive hadn't been enough to completely quiet his panic. He had to see Jace for himself. Magnus had tried to wait outside, but Alec wouldn't let him. He told himself he wanted Magnus there in case Jace needed more medical attention after whatever had happened that had been bad enough to make Alec believe him to be dead, but at some level Alec wanted the warlock there because he knew that having Magnus by his side would comfort him beyond measure. Jace was asleep when they walked in, and would be until late in the afternoon the next day, but Alec didn't know any of this.

All Alec knew was that Jace was breathing. Jace was breathing and safe. Only then could he truly breath easily again, only when the overwhelming proof that he had not lost another brother was put before him was he finally calm. Alec sat in the chair by the bed and watched his _parabatai's_ chest rise and fall, and when looking at his _parabatai_ he could almost forget how it felt to say the words. He could almost forget the taste of that final goodbye.

 _Ave Atque Vale._

He hoped he would never have to say those words and think of Jace again.

But hope was something he didn't have a lot of faith in these days.


End file.
